Jealousy
by violetdoodlebug
Summary: That feeling in Kensi's stomach? Yep, that's jealousy. And a little anger at Hetty, but we aren't there yet. Most certainly not going to be a one-shot.
1. Chapter 1

A/n: I'm going for some hiatus multi-chapter fun. I hope to branch this from Talia and wrap it to Hetty and complete the circle while filling my need for Densi fluff. I'm not sure how often I'll update. The first chapter was fun to play with. And I do plan to finish 34 Weeks, I don't love the story and I've been busy, thus not being done. The end.

So my proofreading on this was like :p so typos will probably be plentiful. I'm sorry.

She stood in the boatshed bathroom, staring into the little mirror, for far too long.

She just needed to look drop dead gorgeous. She knew what this feeling she had was, it was jealousy. She recognized it in the pit of her stomach. She didn't want it to be there, she didn't want to acknowledge it, but it was SO there.

She tousled her hair a few more times, letting it drape around her shoulders.

Meanwhile, Deeks stood there looking at Talia, completely lost.

What on earth was going on?

Talia knew from the first interaction she had with Kensi that they were more than just partners, but that meant nothing if they wouldn't admit it. She recognized that look on Kensi's face when she spoke the words "hooked up" and when she hugged Deeks. It made her angry. Talia definitely thought that she could have some fun with this.

Kensi emerged from the bathroom, and Deeks' eyes went straight for her. Talia decided to test her theory, shrugging her shirt off of her shoulders. She pulled her shoulders back, popping her chest out. She watched Kensi do the exact same thing, and she watched Deeks eyes remain glued on his partner. He did look completely mortified about all of this, but nonetheless, he was staring at hair over boobs. He was a man in love.

The trio got back onto the case, and though awkwardness ensued, they got things done. Kensi appeared on edge, as if she was tiptoeing around him.

When they got the call to back up Callen and Sam, they immediately hopped in the car and took off, leaving Talia behind at the boatshed. When they saw that the submarine had gone missing, the look on Kensi's face sent a knife through Deeks' chest.

"We're going to find them," Deeks said, quickly locking eyes with her before resuming to their jobs.

With the guidance of Eric and Nell in OPS, they were able to get Callen and Sam back safely. Minor injuries, no big incidents. Kensi felt the tension still tight in her muscles though; her nerves were driving her mad as Deeks drove them back to the boatshed. It didn't help that she'd be in there when they got out.

"I need a snack cake," Kensi blurted out, rubbing her fingers on her temple.

"Check the glove box," he said, eyes never glancing off the road. Sure enough, there were brand new boxes of Twinkies, Ding-Dongs, and Fudge Rounds.

"Why do you have these in your car?" she asked, opening the Twinkie box.

"For you. Duh," he said nonchalantly.

She unwrapped the Twinkie carefully, thinking slowly about what he'd said. However her hunger overtook her and she shoved the entire pastry in her mouth. They were at the boatshed by the time she finished, and Talia was waiting outside.

"What the hell was that? You guys just ran off!" Talia shouted, and Kensi just furled up her nostrils.

Suddenly, Talia's eyes drifted to the box of Twinkies laying on the console.

"Twinkies? Hey, hand me one of those," Talia stated.

Kensi's draw dropped. Those were her Twinkies that her partner had bought for her. They were not for some pretty faced DEA agent who apparently pranced into Deeks' life while she'd been reassigned.

She was really ready to kill Hetty for that assignment.

Kensi's eyes had narrowed and her mouth had come up into a tight frown, and Deeks tensed up too. Talia needed to stop. Now. Before Kensi literally cut her.

Kensi grabbed another Twinkie from the box, ripped open the package, and turned herself to Talia. She ran her tongue down the side of it, and then extended her arm to Talia and with a fake smile said, "Here."

Talia looked at Kensi in utter disgust. "How rude," she said.

With that, Kensi came unglued. "Oh don't you even…"

Kensi only got about 4 words into her rant before Deeks interrupted.

"Ladies, PLEASE. We are all adults here, and you're acting like teenagers. This needs to stop, right now," he said forcefully.

"If she'd just admit that she's in love with you than this would be a lot easier," Talia said.

"Oh please, if he'd just admit that he was in love with you, then this would be over," Kensi said, looking over at Deeks as she said it.

"LADIES. That is ENOUGH," Deeks snarled, hushing both of them. Talia shrugged into the backseat. However, Kensi leaned into the window, lost in her thoughts.

Her thoughts were a tangled mess; a mix between Deeks' feelings for her and his feelings for Talia.

If there was one thing that Kensi had learned in Afghanistan, it was that she was not good enough.

Jack had taught her that. He had shown her that she was like hitting the ground. Having a life with her was hard. She was deserving of pain.

And as much as she believed she felt for Deeks, she wanted him to be happy. If his happiness meant she was unhappy, so be it.

But she had so desperately hoped that he was going to be hers. Another part of her heart she hid, more of her third heart was devoted to him than he'd ever know about.

And the raccoons. And the knife. And now this.

That was about the time Kensi's mind wandered back to when she had said "She's beautiful," and his reply was, "You're beautiful."

They have terrible communication skills, and she doesn't necessarily know what he meant by that sentence.

She tries to break it down in to syllables, and then when that doesn't work, she moves to letters and then whole chucks of words.

"You're beautiful."

Could there actually not be a double meaning? Could it not be a metaphor? Could he actually have just said what he meant?

"You're beautiful."

Did he really think she was beautiful?

Her heart raced, and her mind raced back to the top of that hill about a year ago.

"How's that for communication?"

"It's a love story."

"You're beautiful."

Could she have been missing him the whole time? Was she imagining all of this?

Did he love her, or had he drifted to Talia?

There was no in between. Either he was hers, or he wasn't. And she needed to know.


	2. Chapter 2

A/n: I did not expect to have this done so quickly! Do not expect updates like this. I've got a little plan- 8 chapters long so far on that plan. Who knows where it'll go, but I am enjoying it.

There are a few texts in this chapter. Nell's words are in () and Kensi's are in []. Its also late and I'm exhausted, so excuse illogical sentences or typos. They are bound to exist.

When they arrived at OPS, Kensi quickly exited the car, slamming the door behind her. Her partner assumed she was mad, but in all honesty she was just confused. She needed to know what he meant by "You're beautiful."

Talia flirted one last time with Deeks as they debriefed, but Kensi just tried not to look at them. She felt slightly embarrassed, and she sheepishly wandered back to her desk once their meeting was over. Case solved. Yeah. She was so tired. And sad. And confused.

Deeks was trying to ditch Talia. Like, he was doing everything in his power to get her out of his way. He'd seen Kensi sulk out of OPS, and he just wanted to find her and make it right, but he couldn't with the DEA drama queen on his tail.

Talia was laughing and carrying on. What was this, a joke to her?

"You should go," he said, turning and locking eyes with her.

She looked genuinely amused, but then nodded and said, "Yeah, maybe I should," before turning on her heels and taking off.

Deeks raced down the stairs to try to catch Kensi, but she was already gone. He ran his hand through his messy 'styled-by-pillow' blond hair and then turned to bang his head up against the first wall he could find.

"Careful, Detective," Granger said, walking up behind him.

"Granger, how pleasant it is to see you this evening," he said in his most sarcastic chipper tone.

Granger just scowled at him, and Deeks was so frustrated by it all at this point that he just walked back up the stairs to get away from him.

When he walked back into OPS and saw Eric still tying away at his computer, he considered having him trace Kensi's cell. But as he approached his co-worker, he decided against it. She was probably at home on her couch with a beer. Of course she could be at some bar somewhere, but she just didn't seem like she wanted to be around people. True Kensi fashion.

"What can I do for you?" Eric asked, noticing Deeks walking up behind him.

"I don't know. Heard anything from Hetty?" he asked. It was a safer topic than Kensi.

"Her plane is landing in 45 minutes," Nell said from across the room. "Now let's drop it."

The tension in Nell's voice was sensed throughout the room. He'd only heard her speak this way once before; when Kensi had been lost in Afghanistan.

He started to speak, but before he could say anything, Nell soke again. "I said drop it. No questions. And Kensi went home by the way,"

Nell pulled out her phone and handed it to Deeks, letting him read the conversation.

(You okay? You just ran out of here like you saw a ghost or something.)

[Word choice, Nell]

(Okay. You look upset. Wanna talk about that?)

[No. I'm just overwhelmed. Going home. Thanks though.]

(Does this have anything to do with Hetty? Or the DEA agent? Or Deeks?)

[Night Nell]

Deeks' chest tightened as he read the messages.

She was upset. She wanted to be left alone.

Maybe he should call her? Granted it wasn't a conversation he was anxious to have over the phone, but that didn't mean it didn't need to take place immediately. He had things he needed to tell her.

"Her phone is off, you can't call her," Nell said suddenly.

"How did you…" he started, wondering how Nell was reading his mind.

"Look at my contact name for Kesni." Nell said, rolling her eyes.

The top of Nell's phone screen read 'Sunshine' in bright big letters, and Deeks felt his jaw drop.

"How did you?" he asked.

"Everyone knows about you two but you two," Eric called from his chair, still typing away at his computer.

"What he means is, that DEA agent has Kensi spooked, and then there's this whole thing with Hetty, and she still doesn't know the whole story behind Afghanistan," Nell shook her head. "And she doesn't have you, because something about a knife, three hearts, and a raccoon."

"Does she tell you about these things?" Deeks asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Not often, and usually not willingly, but sometimes," Nell chuckled, "Sometimes she's a love-struck idiot."

Deeks had confirmation.

She was in love with him.

And to see Talia flirt with him was like stabbing a knife through her third heart. He knew all of this in his head, but he just hadn't quite made all the connections yet.

He wanted to run to her now, and tell her all the beautiful thoughts he had about her throughout the days- the way her hair bounced off her shoulders, the way her smile lit up the room, how perfect her miss-matched eyes really were to him, or how much he just liked to touch her. But if the rest of his theory was correct, as the first part had been, she was drinking and she just wanted to be alone. He didn't want her to be alone, and deep down he knew she didn't want to be alone either. But outwardly, she wouldn't want to talk. Not tonight.

He drug himself home, he had a dog to feed after all. Monty wanted to play, but Deeks definitely did not want to play. Deeks walked into his bedroom and ripped off his cloths and crawled into bed, grabbing his other pillow and pulling it close to his chest. He sucked in a deep breath. It still smelled like her.

One night, all those months ago, they communicated. And his pillow still smelled like her, he remembered exactly what it had looked like to see her in his bed. He saved that scent, for all those long nights while she'd been gone. But he didn't think he'd need to use it now that she'd gotten back. He wished he had her to snuggle up to, but he didn't. He closed his eyes.

_We'll talk in the morning. I will make it right with her._

_We will make this work._


	3. Chapter 3

Jealousy Chapter 3

A/n: Not my favorite chapter. Next one will be fun. Not sure when it'll be up. Please don't hate me. Kensi may be OOC, idk man its hard for me to draw that line sometimes.

Kensi woke up the next morning, and instantly regretted her actions the night before. She'd passed out on the couch after drinking one too many beers, and so she was both hung-over and had a terrible ache in her back and neck. She found her phone off and on the coffe table before her, and she turned it on. She had no missed calls or texts. That hurt.

He hadn't tried to call her. He didn't try to find her or come after her.

With a moan, she pulled herself up and made her way to the shower. She turned the water on as hot as it could get, and once it warmed up, she hopped in. It burned her skin, and she knew she should turn it down, but if her skin stung it took a little pain away from her heart.

How could she be so madly in love with him? Like, when did this even happen?

She dried and dressed quickly. She felt like crawling into a corner and staying there for a couple of days, or maybe a couple of years, but instead she got in the car and started driving.

She was the first one to her desk, and she dove deep into paperwork. Deeks followed about ten minutes behind her. Upon his arrival in the office, Kensi writhed in her seat and looked like she was about to vomit.

Deeks took a moment to just look at her, and he knew this was his fault. He needed a mental image of this, of her hurting, so he'd make sure to never ever hurt her again. He dropped his bag on the floor near his desk, and crossed the room to hers.

"Kensi," he started, standing right in front of her desk.

"Mhm," she mumbled, not looking up from her paperwork.

Yes, she was pissed. Or upset. He couldn't tell the difference.

"We need to talk about yesterday," he said, hoping she'd look up. She did look up, but it wasn't quite what he was looking for.

"Really Deeks? Do we really need to talk about yesterday?" she fumed, leaving her face looking quite distressed.

"Yes, we do," he said, trying to grab her hand. She pulled away quickly, not letting him even touch her.

"I get it, you moved on. It happens, it was bound to happen eventually, I just didn't expect it. So just don't pity me about it," she said, her voice cracking slightly. If a voice could cry, hers was on the verge of tears.

"Kensi that's not what…" Deeks started to say, but then they heard a familiar whistle in the background.

"Got a case! OPS time!" Eric shouted, then noticing the partners appeared to be deep in conversation.

Instead of enquiring, he just turned and walked back upstairs.

Kensi sprung to her feet and headed up the stairs, Deeks following her close behind.

"Kensi you don't understand," he said, but she signaled him to zip it. And suddenly, they were up in OPS with the entire team.

Case. Yeah. Dead guy.

Kensi wasn't letting him talk to her. She officially blocked out everything not case related from her ears.

Their case was simple. Dead guy. Navy recruitment officer Joseph Conners. Figure out why he got murdered. Not the most complicated work they've done. They did crime scene processing, no emotion slipped Kensi's voice. She sounded like a robotic version of herself. It made her partner queasy.

Interviews with victim's wife and coworkers, another task down. She did most of the work, he felt like he was just standing there doing nothing. Sidekick.

He tried again to talk to her in the car, but she wanted no part of him or his talking. She turned the radio up in the car as he spoke, trying to drown him out.

Finally he snapped, flicking the car radio off with a quick jab.

"Okay, I get that you don't want to talk, but you need to hear me out right now. I did not replace you, you are irreplaceable Kens, and I'm not pitying you, I'm trying to get you talk this through with me and you won't. I understand that you're pissed about yesterday, and you have every right to be so. But I'm trying to tell you that you're the only one I care about and you won't listen to me. I want this damn thing to work and it can't work if one of us isn't trying to make it work," he said, shooting a dangerous blue eye stare at her, but she didn't meet his gaze.

"Damn it, Kens," he said, turning the music back up and driving away again.

Kensi kept her eyes out the window. She couldn't stop her eyes from watering and she couldn't let him see her like that. She moved as slowly as possible, bringing her hand to her face and trying to wipe the tears away, but as soon as one was gone another one filled in its spot.

Her head still hurt, her neck and back still ached, Deeks was angry with her, and their thing was up in the air.

It was just too much. At the boatshed, Kensi got out of the car and ran straight to the bathroom. She composed herself, fixing her make-up and cleaning herself quickly. She then charged into the room with the suspect, where her partner already stood.

"Hi. Welcome to hell. I'm Special Agent Kensi Blye, he's Detective Marty Deeks, and the sooner you answer our questions, the sooner we all get to go home."

The suspect looked literally petrified, and caved to everything Kensi threatened him over. Sadly, the man obviously didn't do it, and Deeks apologized to him for their rough interrogation. He seemed to be okay with it, realizing that he only had 20 minutes with the woman, while she was Deeks' life.

"Way to scare the daylights out of em' Kens," he said.

She stood and walked out of the interrogation room and lay out flat on the couch in the boatshed.

With her eyes closed, she said, "Deeks, I'm sorry."

Review on your way out, if you don't hate me? Cuz you know I'm gonna fix it eventually.


	4. Chapter 4

Jealousy Chapter 4

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A/n: Appreciating your reviews! I've got finals coming up so I can't promise when the next installment will be up- sometime on the next week. Maybe midweek, maybe next weekend, maybe tomorrow. Idk. Back to reviews- I'm not swaying from my plan but just for you lovelies I tried to make this chapter a) a little less rushed and b) have some gentle, loving Densi moments.

Enjoysies. Like my new word? All typos and mistakes are mine. Sorry.

Have I been disclaiming this? Disclaimeddd.

* * *

"I'm not asking for you to apologize, I just want you to hear me out," Deeks said, coming around the corner to stand in front of her.

"I just," she sighed, opening her eyes to see Deeks standing over top of her.

"I know. I just… too," he said. "Let's solve this case, and then let's figure this out."

Kensi's lips turned up slightly at the corners, and took his hand and let him pull her up.

"Let's get back to Callen and Sam. They're sure to have something," she said as she made her way to the doorway.

They made their way to Sam and Callen who were currently at the victim's ex-girlfriend's apartment.

"Haven't we seen this apartment complex before?" Deeks asked, peeking out the window.

"Yeah, I think we have," Kensi said, glaring at the building.

"Touché!" Deeks called out suddenly.

"Touché what?" Kensi replied, puzzled.

"This is the place where the touché thing happened! Where you said 'touché touché touché you cannot touch my touché' and then made that popping teeth flicking sound you make," he laughed.

"That was not here, that was at a motel," she smirked, rolling her eyes. "And I did not say that."

"Oh yes you did, Princess, and that was totally here," he replied. "Don't you remember this stairwell? This was a big moment for us."

"Deeks, I can't possibly remember every time we've bantered," she said, shaking her head.

Before he could form a response, they heard gunfire.

They grabbed their guns and headed toward the sound of the gunfire. Kensi kicked the door in, shouting her usual 'Federal Agents' line as she entered.

They found the woman on the floor, gun about five feet away, and Sam restricting her and pulling handcuffs out. Callen stood a few feet away, pointing his gun down at her.

"Little late to the party, guys," Callen chuckled.

"Hey, we tried," Kensi protested.

They took the women back to the boatshed, and Kensi got her chance to once again rock an interrogation.

"Special Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS. I see you're the jealous ex-girlfriend," she said with a superficial smile.

The woman on the other side of the table smirked back at her, "You look like you could be the jealous type too."

As much as Kensi wanted to deny that, she really couldn't. "It takes a lot, but yeah it happens."

"You understand why I did it, don't you?" the woman asked.

"No, I don't understand how you could do it. Because I know that I couldn't possibly murder the man I'm in love with over another woman. Because if you love someone, their happiness should be more important than your own. Yes, I've gotten jealous over other girls he's been close to, but I don't see how you could do such a cruel thing."

The entire boatshed was silent then. The woman looked sheepishly at her feet. Callen and Sam exchanged strange looks. Deeks' eyes remained clued to the TV screen.

Kensi was talking about him. He's the man she's in love with.

She valued his happiness over her own.

He felt like he couldn't breathe.

"So how about that confession, so we can all get out of here," Kensi smiled, cocking her head to the side.

A few minutes later, she made her way out of the room, and Sam and Callen went in with handcuffs to arrest her.

Kensi crossed the room to where Deeks was standing. His hand met the middle of her back. Her skin felt electrocuted by his touch. She normally really disliked when her back was touched, but Deeks, she really didn't mind Deeks.

Sam and Callen left the boatshed with the woman, leaving Kensi and Deeks there alone.

It was late in the afternoon- they'd be headed home after heading back to the office. A debriefing meeting and then they were dismissed.

She packed her stuff up from her desk, and Deeks met her by her desk.

"Dinner, partner?" he asked.

Kensi stood by the wall, and he stood up close to her, close enough that she could feel his breaths and his body heat. Her breathing hitched, and her nerves went through the rough.

They'd have to talk it out. And she knew it needed to be done but she just didn't want to do it. What she'd said in interrogation was not to his face and that was easier. But she knew deep down, that she HAD to learn to talk about her feelings with him. That's part of what having a thing is.

She wanted to say no. But his body made her want to say yes.

Her brain said no, her heart said yes.

And so did her mouth.

With heightened fears, they started to walk out. Suddenly, they heard Nell's footsteps dart down the stairs.

"Nell?" Kensi shouted, turning to see her friend"

"What?" Nell shouted in reply. She looked slightly frantic.

"You okay?" Kensi called, stepping away from Deeks and toward her friend. Deeks caught the memo and hung back, letting the girls have a moment.

"No, I'm not, none of us are," she said, "but I'm just doing some stuff for Hetty."

"Nell, slow down. You're going to hurt yourself," Kensi said, grabbing Nell by her slender wrist and pulling her aside.

"This is important," Nell grunted, pulling away from Kensi.

"Does this have anything to do with Afghanistan?" Kensi asked.

"I'm not allowed to discuss…" Nell began.

"I said, IS this about Afghanistan?" Kensi asked forcefully.

"Yes!" Nell screamed angrily at her, then shoving an elbow into Kensi's stomach. "Go."

Kensi made an angry face at Nell, but the petite didn't even look back at her. Kensi turned and walked away.

"There's something going on here. And I don't like it," she told Deeks as they walked through the tunnel-like hallway.

"Nell just snapped at you," he said, looking at his partner with deep concern.

"Can we just skip dinner and go straight to your place?" she asked, slightly timidly.

"Yeah, sure we can. Take-out food or pizza?" he asked.

"At this point, I don't even care," she said, shooting one look back at Nell, who was fumbling around on Hetty's computer.

Deeks threw an arm around her, and said, "It's going to be okay."

She replied, "When?"

* * *

I learned how to use the page break thing!

Reviews make me happy. Happy writers do less violent things with their characters.


	5. Chapter 5

Jealousy Chapter 5

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A/n: Sorry. I've been busy. Don't hurt me.

This is pretty fluffy, minus the last paragraph. It goes back to the fun. Teehee. This is also a lot shorter than normal updates. It'll get better when I'm not cramming Latin and Greek roots into my head.

Yeah okay so proofreading… didn't really do a whole lot of that. Mistakes may be kind of plentiful… again please don't hurt me I just need to sleep.

* * *

He wondered what happened.

He wondered what they did to her.

He looked at her, asleep on his couch, in his arms, head on his shoulder.

He needed to know. What had his mistake, not taking the shot, caused her?

She hadn't spent any nights with him since her return. That made him sad. He wanted to be there for her.

But right now, she was sleeping. In his arms.

That meant something, right?

And this Hetty thing? And Nell? What the hell was that about? Nell wouldn't dare try to push Kensi around. It is Kensi after all, Nell's little, and nice. She's getting better in the field, but she is not an equal to Kensi. She knows that.

Deeks was confused and concerned. Thing were not adding up.

Suddenly, Kensi began to stir in his arms. She stretched her neck, and opened her eyes. Her head still lay across his shoulder.

"Hi," he said.

"Hey," she replied groggily.

A smile broke across her face, and then his.

"I kind of like this," she smiled.

"I like this too," he replied.

They stayed in this position for quite a while, neither moving a muscle.

"Are you going to head home? You're more than welcome, in fact, I'd prefer that you stay here, but if you need to go, it's late," he rambled.

"I need new clothes. And a shower," she frowned.

"I have a shower," he piped up, "and maybe some of your clothes."

"Excuse me? You have some of my clothes?" Kensi asked.

"You were gone for a really long time, Kens," he said, trying to defend himself.

"So you stole some of my clothes," she glared at him.

"You obviously didn't miss them," he rebuked, "and you stole that magazine from the Laundromat."

"Okay, how do you always manage to bring up this kind of stuff?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders, and opened his mouth to say something stupid. They were both aware that what he was going to say was stupid, so she just said, "Yeah, okay, shower."

They got up off of the couch, and he grabbed her a towel. He went to grab her one of his old tees and a pair of her sweatpants. He began to point out where things were when she interrupted with "I know, Deeks."

She was smiling.

She happily knew where all of his stuff was, in his bathroom. This was kind of a big deal.

When she got done he was in the kitchen, getting a glass of water.

"Filled up Monty's bowls," he said, before asking her if she needed anything.

She asked for a glass of water, and he gave her one.

"You ready for bed?" he asked, and she nodded.

He shut the TV off and then lights went out.

"Why is this pillow up here?" she asked, upon entering his room.

He did not want to answer that question.

Not one bit.

"Is it an Afghanistan thing?" she asked.

He nodded.

She smiled slightly, grabbing the pillow he'd forever call her pillow, and tucked it in on the bed, crawling in and resting her head on it.

He got in and snuggled up next to her. His arm sprawled across her waist, and there, they rested.

* * *

The morning went smoothly, and Kensi found something decent in the small assortment of clothes Deeks had stolen from her.

They arrived together, but didn't worry about Callen and Sam's suspicions. Honestly, they couldn't care less about their suspicions.

There wasn't a case. Deeks decided to clean off his desk and Kensi caught up on paperwork that had piled up while she'd been in Afghanistan. Sam and Callen were training in the gym.

"What do you think Hetty's doing?" Kensi asked suddenly.

"I'm not sure," he said, "but there's not a lot we can do until someone tells us what is going on."

"I don't want to drag you into this. You're my partner, and this op is my mess," she said, locking eyes with him.

"You got sent over there because of me. And I will be sorry about that until the day I die," he said.

"Deeks, I don't know if that's true. I mean I thought it was but," she glanced over at Hetty's office, which contained a frantic Nell in the same clothes she was wearing yesterday, "maybe its not."

He looked at her with his big blue eyes and she looked back with her chocolate brown ones.

"I'm going to go find out what's going on, I may have to threaten Eric but I…"

She was interrupted by the ringing of Deeks' phone.

She looked at him as if it was not a big deal. A phone was ringing. Big deal; not.

But he pulled out his phone and his caller ID read "Talia DeCampo".


	6. Chapter 6

Jealousy Chapter 6

A/n: Kind of a fun chapitre. (FUN WITH FRENCH!) I'm sorry, it's been a long, crazy, but fun day! I got to go to the beach : ) Okay, you guys don't care… so here's the deal. Once again, proofreading doesn't really happen, ignore my typos and auto correct fails.

Disclaimed. I own a laptop.

Finals. Will. Happen. I. Will. Study.

Update when I can. Thanks all!

* * *

"Who is it Deeks?" Kensi asked, looking at her confused partner.

He stammered, cancelling the call and shoving his phone back in his pocket.

"Deeks…" she called.

"It was someone I don't want to talk to," he said, "and you were about to go talk to Eric."

She looked at him and squinted her eyes. "You promise that if there's something going on, you'll tell me, right?"

He nodded. "Of course."

They walked up stairs to OPS. Eric was sitting at his computer, right where they had expected him to be. He didn't glance up from his computer until Kensi and Deeks approached him.

"Hey guys, what can I do for you?" Eric asked nonchalantly.

"A couple things," Kensi started.

"Shoot," Eric replied.

"First of all, what's up with Nell? She got aggressive with Kensi yesterday, and that's not supposed to happen, like ever," Deeks questioned.

"She's under a lot of pressure. I have no clue what Hetty left for her to clean up, but I take it it's not pretty," he said. "What else ya need?'

"I need to know why I was sent to Afghanistan," Kensi replied.

"That's still classified, until Hetty gets back, or if, well…" Eric stuttered.

"Eric, I was beaten and tortured in that desert. Somebody better start giving me some answers as to why," Kensi said forcefully.

Deeks gulped, clearing his throat. Raw emotion was spilling out of Kensi's mouth, a vulnerability he was not comfortable seeing her display.

Eric also looked disturbed. He didn't look like he pitied Kensi, because he knew that wasn't what she wanted. He just looked really uncomfortable.

"There has got to be a file or something. If you don't want to give it to me, set it up so that I can sneak in and access it on my own. That way I can take the blame if you were to get in trouble," she pleaded, "Just give me some answers."

How could he deny her this? It would hurt her, he knew that. But she was hurting as is, assuming that Deeks was the cause of her reassignment.

I'll have the file in your inbox by the end of the day," Eric mumbled softly.

"Thank you. I knew I could count on you," she said, tapping him on the shoulder. She and Deeks started to exit OPS.

"Kensi," Eric called.

"Yeah?" she called back to him.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad you're back," Eric said.

"Thank you," Kensi nodded.

Kensi and Deeks walked away from OPS quietly, as Deeks was steel reeling from Kensi's comment earlier on.

"You're really brave. Have I ever told you that?" Deeks asked tentatively.

Kensi smiled, "No, that's another new one."

"What do you mean, that's another new one?" he inquired.

Kensi paused, realizing her mistake. Oops. She'd just referenced the "You're beautiful" moment. Crud.

So she decided to blow over it. "Ya know, just that thing you said the other day. You might not have meant it,"

She started to ramble off, but Deeks stopped her.

"Hold up, what do you mean I might not have meant it? What are you talking about?"

"The beautiful thing, it's not a big dea…"

"What do you mean I didn't mean it? Of course I mea…"

Suddenly the pair were aware of Sam and Callen's presence in the office space. Their conversation was going to have to wait.

Most of the afternoon was spent on desk work- or as the agents preferred to call it- busy work.

Deeks found himself staring across the room at Kensi too often. How could she not know how beautiful she was? How beautiful she was to him?

Kensi found her mind wandering and her stomach churning. Tonight she'd find out what really happened in Afghanistan. Plus, she just about heard Deeks call her beautiful a second time. She'd know he meant it when she could hear it again. Confirmation.

At the end of the day, Sam and Callen headed out. They'd had no word from Hetty. Kensi wasn't about to go try to deal with Nell, but Eric said he'd try to talk some sense into her.

As Eric descended down the stairs, he shot a wink at Kensi. She immediately checked her inbox, and there was the file.

Jack's Ghost.

Deeks joined her at her desk. "That's it, huh?" he said solemnly.

"Yep. That's it," she agreed.

"I'm here for you," he replied.

"I know, this is just something I need to do…"

"Alone. I get it." He leant down and pressed a kiss into her hairline. "Call me if you need me, any hour."

He took off down the hallway. She sat there, taking in what had just happened. Every time he kissed her, her brain lost connectivity with the rest of her body. Even if it was just a forehead kiss, it made her emotions go all haywire.

Suddenly, he turned around and came back to her.

"I almost forgot. About earlier, and the beautiful thing," He said.

Their eyes locked. She wasn't going to look away for anything.

"Of course I meant it. You're beautiful, and that's that."

She smiled, and he smiled back.

Their thing was coming along mighty fine.

"Night Kens," he said.

"Night Deeks," she replied. With one last glance back at her, he was gone.

Kensi decided that this would be a long night, and that she'd rather do this in the comfort of her own home.

Once she got home, she realized how similar this felt to her father, and her investigation of how he really had died. She was breaking rules. She was trying to figure out what was going on. She was researching in the middle of the night.

It was way too late.

She pulled her laptop out and settled into her couch. She could use her desktop, but that would feel too much like her father's case.

Nervously she logged into her email. There lay the file, all of the data she needed.

Before she could back out, she clicked download.

And she began to read.

* * *

*You wanna make me smile and review?*


	7. Chapter 7

Jealousy Chapter 7

A/n: Quick update because I'm so proud of how much French I was able to cram into my head. I'm so ready to be done with language! It's hard and stressful. Thanks for the reviews thus far- and thank you for your criticisms. I look at both equally : )

Any mistakes are mine. I don't own NCIS.

* * *

Deeks rolled over in bed. His alarm clock read 1 AM. He couldn't sleep. Part of his brain was thinking 'I need to stay awake in case she calls' and the other part was too busy wondering what she was discovering.

Monty barked from his pet bed. His master was keeping him awake, and it wasn't fair.

Meanwhile, Kensi's eyes remained glued to her laptop screen. She took her face in her hands, then pulling them back to push her hair behind her neck. She took a deep breath and popped her neck.

And she scrolled.

A lot of this data seemed meaningless- CIA operations that she didn't really care about.

She scrolled again.

Finally, Jack's name came into the picture. She got up and made herself some coffee.

Then she settled back into her couch.

And she scrolled.

Then, right before her eyes, the details began to unfold.

Her head couldn't keep up with what her eyes were taking in.

There was what Hetty said. There was what Hetty did.

There was what Granger did. There was what Granger knew.

And her thoughts went back to Hetty.

How could she?

Kensi felt her chest tighten.

How could she be led to believe that this was Deeks' fault? How could he be led to believe that this was his fault? This had nothing to do with him.

And after all these years, she trusted Hetty. It was the last thought in her mind that Hetty was actually the cause of all of this.

She flashed back to all of the times Hetty had lied to her- she remembered how Hetty owed her. The debt. And she remembered who she could trust. The only one she could trust.

Deeks.

All along, he was the only one she could trust.

She pursed her lips, and proceeded onward. The more she read, the more she felt like bursting into tears.

Jack did this. Jack did that. We'll convince Agent Blye that it's Sabatino. Then watch her get confused.

She realized that the torture thing was not supposed to happen; but that didn't make a difference. She'd been used. One of her only vulnerabilities had been used against her. And it wasn't even by the 'bad' guy, but her own operations manager. And Granger had allowed it to happen.

Then, the details of her rescue mission.

The photographs of her and Jack- beaten and bloody and dead-looking filled her screen. She winced, and scrunched her nose at them.

Deeks had seen that.

They'd all seen that.

Her heart swelled with love when she realized they had continued on fighting for her even when all signs pointed toward the chance that she was already dead.

But they must not have bought it.

She ran out of document. She felt numb and raw. She was hurt.

2:35 in the morning, and she wasn't about to sleep now. She wondered if Deeks was asleep.

She picked up her phone. She dialed his number and before she could stop herself she clicked call.

He answered on the first ring.

"Hello?" he stammered nervously.

"It's okay Deeks. It wasn't you're fault."

The ocean inside her eyelids let loose.

* * *

The next morning, Kensi's hair was messy. She couldn't stay awake.

Deeks couldn't focus either.

When they took their lunch, he asked what he'd been needing to know all day.

"Am I ever going to know what happened?"

She turned to him. Her tired eyes pierced his.

"It's hard to be here for you when I don't know what you're going through," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"No, I don't need you to apologize I just need for you to trust me," he said, pulling her towards him, grabbing both of her hands.

"I trust you. You're the only one I trust. That hasn't changed," she said, in a broken voice. She didn't pull away. She stayed exactly where she was. Her lips quivered, and then he covered them with his. She responded by kissing him back, and then pulling away. She wrapped her arms around him, placing her head on his heart. She was going to break and he was there to catch her. She was certain he wasn't going to let her fall.

Through her soft tears, she began to speak, "Hetty used me because she knew I wouldn't kill Jack."

* * *

After their emotional time, they got a quick bite for lunch. They didn't have a lot of time. Kensi felt a little better after having gotten it out, and she also felt good having been kissed.

She made a note to kiss him first next time. It was her turn to show him that she was working on this thing too.

But when they got back to work, things were not so simple. Callen and Sam were nowhere to be seen- and Nell stood in the center of their desks.

"Up to OPS. We have an urgent case," she said, taking off up the stairs.

When they got to OPS, they couldn't believe who they saw.

Talia.

"I tried to call and warn you, but you didn't pick up yesterday for some reason," Talia said in a solemn tone.

"What is going on?" Kensi asked, filling with anger. She and Deeks were just starting to take steps forward, and she didn't want to take steps backward now.

"I'll answer that," Eric chimed in. "This is Natasha."

A 15 year old girl's profile pulled up on the screen. "She's got a twin brother, named Ryan. Their mother has been convicted as a Navy drug dealer, and dishonorably discharged. But someone's not happy. Ryan went missing sometime this morning."

"I wanted to call and warn you that there might be trouble on the horizon; but now we have the trouble right here. We've got to get this kid back," Talia said.

This was no longer horseplay. There was a teenager in danger.

"Sam and Callen have Natasha at the boatshed. Callen, Sam, LAPD, and other DEA agents are running the search for Ryan. Meanwhile, you three are on protection detail for Natasha. We have reason to believe she's in major danger too," Nell said.

"Let's get on it," Eric said.

As they descended quickly from OPS, Talia pulled Kensi aside.

"It's time for us to work together. I'm sorry for pushing boundaries with your partner," Talia apologized, extending her hand to Kensi. Kensi shook it, and nodded.

"Let's keep her safe," Kensi said.


	8. Chapter 8

Jealousy Chapter 8

A/n: This chapter was SO FUN! Natasha is like, my favorite thing ever to write. Sorry it's been so long. I did survive my French final and a few others- I still have one or two more. Bear with me until school gets out! I do not own NCIS. I do apologize for any errors in the text below.

* * *

Once Kensi, Deeks, and Talia got to the boatshed, Sam and Callen took off to join the other investigators. Natasha was sitting on the coach, hands in her lap, looking up at her protection detail.

"Three agents? Is this really necessary?" she asked nervously. "I've caused so much trouble."

"Not trouble, Natasha. We're here to keep you safe. You're in danger and we're not going to take any chances," Talia said.

"I'm Special Agent Kensi Blye with NCIS. Call me Kensi," She extended her hand to Natasha, and she shook it.

"I'm Detective Marty Deeks, LAPD liason with NCIS, call me whatever you want." Deeks said,offering a high-five.

"He answers to Shaggy," Kensi said with a laugh, trying to diffuse Natasha's tension.

"I'm Agent Talia DelCampo, DEA. Talia," she said, also shaking Natasha's hand.

"Natasha, do you think you can answer some questions for us about your brother? Special Agents Callen and Hanna already got details about his disappearance, but we are looking for just things about him," Kensi explained, sitting down on the table in front of her. Deeks sat at her side. Talia filled in by pulling up a chair and straddling it.

"Ryan's awesome. We never fight. We're in marching band together. I hate his girlfriend. We like to go to the beach and do homework. He wishes he could play baseball," Natasha said. "Although I don't think these are the kind of details you are looking for."

"They're a start," Talia said, nodding her head.

"I don't know what you guys are looking for," Natasha said.

"Let's start with Ryan's girlfriend. Why don't you like her?" Deeks asked, using his gentle and serious voice, and it made Kensi nervous just hearing it.

"They're good together. Really good. She takes part of my Ryan from me. It's like when brothers are protective around guys who like their sister, but the opposite," she explained.

"Think we should bring her in?" Kensi asked Talia and Deeks.

"She probably isn't in any danger," Talia added.

"But she might try to contact him," Deeks said.

'Which could put her in danger," Kensi replied.

"Or put him in even more danger," Talia said.

So it was settled. They were bringing her in.

* * *

Natasha sat nervously again. But this time, Deeks sat nervously at her side. Talia and Kensi were going to get the girl, and he was afraid they wouldn't quite come back alive.

"Okay, I know why I'm shaking, but why are you shaking?" Natasha asked him. "I mean, I'm pretty sure you're the like, cop here, and if something bad happens I'd like to be able to count on you not to let us get killed."

Deeks chuckled a little bit. "Nah, have no worries in that department," he said. "See, it's kind of a long story."

"We've got time," she said, looking at him intently.

He sighed, thinking about how stupid this story was going to sound out loud and how ridiculous a 15 year old girl was going to think it was.

"Okay, so I have a thing for the brunette," Deeks started.

"They're both brunettes," Natasha spoke up.

"Right. I have a thing for…" he was having issues describing her.

"You can use names," she added again.

"Kensi. I have a thing for Kensi," he said. It felt really good to say that to another human being.

"Does Kensi have a _thing_ for you too, then?" Natasha asked.

"I'd say she does," he replied with a smile, thinking about their kiss.

"So what's the problem then?" Natasha asked.

"Kensi had to go away on assignment for a while this year, and I got partnered with Talia for a case," he began.

"Oh, I got you. Kensi's jealous. And Talia's encouraging her to be jealous, just for spite, and you're afraid this isn't going to end well, since they're big girls with guns and aren't afraid to throw punches," Natasha nodded.

"How did you…?" Deeks began.

"I'm a freshman in high school. Freshman year is when ALL the stupid drama happens. I see this every single day in the hallway," Natasha said, "But they seemed pretty civilized to me."

"See that's the thing. They whispered and shook hands earlier, and I don't know what that's about but I just don't like it," Deeks said.

"So how is your 'thing' with Kensi? Why do you guys call it a 'thing'?" Natasha asked.

"It's kind of complicated," he said, looking around the boatshed. "I mean, we work together, in dangerous situations. And we're partners. And I don't want to lose that."

"But would you rather lose your partnership, or your lover?" Natasha asked.

"This is why we have a problem," Deeks replied, looking at the girl. "I have literally looked at this every way under the sun, nothing you say is going to possibly help me or become my solution at this point."

"I know one outcome you haven't looked into," she said, smiling out of the corner of her mouth.

"Really?" he asked, frowning.

"Really." she said.

He looked at her for a long moment, until she said "The outcome you always overlook is the one when you guys end up together, happily. Like where there's no fall out, no disaster, where everything just goes right, because sometimes love stories do happen," Natasha said. "And I'm pretty sure you two look like a love story. I wondered why she looked at you that way."

He didn't say anything back to her for a while. She just smiled at him until he met her gaze. She laughed, and he looked embarrassed.

"You seem like you're trapped in a Taylor Swift song. Like a terrible remix of Mine and Treacherous," she said.

"Okay, wow, you are definitely a teenage girl. I pride myself on not knowing either of those songs," he said with a chuckle.

"Treacherous is like your life story," she said, pulling out her iPod. Her phone had been given to Eric and Nell for analysis, but she could still inform Deeks about Taylor Swift with her iPod.

The song played, and though it wasn't quite his life story and was very girly, he understood how it related to his relationship with Kensi. And most importantly, Natasha had formed a bond with him, and she trusted him a lot.

"Rough family life, huh?" Deeks asked, with the soft music in the background.

"I don't even want to talk about it," she said, waving him off, "but yeah, it's pretty rough."

Deeks nodded, "I know, kinda sucks. But it's temporary."

"Do you think they'll find Ryan?" she asked.

He knew not to make a promise he couldn't keep, but he was confident when he said "I know they will."

* * *

Review? :D


	9. Chapter 9

Jealousy Chapter 9

a/n: This chapter is like a transition, and it's not long at all. It's kind of important but super short. So, enjoy the little blurb. I didn't want to start the remainder of the case stuff yet, and this conversation did not need to be any longer. So I guess we shall go for quality over quantityer. So I guess we shall go for quality over quantity! Oh by the way, I missed my usual reviewers last update :(

I look forward to your comments!

All the usual randomness I put in here.

* * *

Talia and Kensi were in the car headed to Ryan's girlfriend Brittany's house. Neither woman was really talking, Kensi was driving and Talia was giving her directions. Kensi knew where to go from here, so she told Talia she didn't need directions anymore.

"So… you're partner," Talia began, "What's going on?"

"Um, I don't think you need to know about that," Kensi said.

"Listen, I understood all along that you and your partner are madly in love. I was messing with you, to see how jealous you'd get, and I apologized for that," Talia said.

Kensi punched her, pretty hard, slamming her fist into Talia's arm.

"You are lucky that I'm driving or that would have gone to your face," Kensi growled.

Talia reached over and rubbed her arm. Kensi had hit her pretty hard.

"Listen, he's not just your partner and I know that. While you were away, he missed you. I could see it in his eyes. He refused to touch me anymore than he had to, refused drinks, he waited for you. And that's great and awesome and I am really happy for you guys, but I just want to warn you woman to woman; having a lover as a partner in the field is really hard. I've been there, done that, and I got burned. You guys are going to have to stop screwing around with each other's emotions before you do something you both regret," Talia warned.

Kensi sighed, and took a deep breath. "Yeah, we've already kind of been through this. There was this guy we interrogated a few weeks ago, he kind of spooked Deeks."

"Okay, yeah, that's kind of what I'm trying to say. It doesn't have to end badly, ya know? You guys are going to have to be careful and think things through. But you guys can do it," she said.

Kensi looked at Talia intently as she stopped the car in front of Brittany's house.

"Thank you," Kensi said.

"No, please don't. I screwed up royally once upon a time, and I almost screwed it up for you guys too. It wasn't right of me to do, I feel like I owe something to you guys," she said.

"Let's keep the girls safe, and then maybe I'll call it even," Kensi replied.

"Okay," Talia replied, as they got out of the car.


End file.
